Sometimes in life we just plain freeze up. It can be subtlety insidious with a slowing down when life gets chaotic and before you know it you are overwhelmed and completely frozen — unable to move forward or any other direction.
A year ago I changed “Murgatron’s Musings” to “Marigold Moon Herbal and Wellness” to reflect my new-found passion and studies. Writer’s block soon set in. I felt I had no platform for pure musing and that everything I wrote should reflect wellness. In retrospect, what topic regarding the human condition couldn’t be classified as wellness? Then the USA had an election, from which the outcome I may never fully recover. My news feeds were full of despair, insanity and environmental gloom. The very Earth herself seems angry with more violent storms, fires, floods and unusual weather events. I won’t even comment on what I see daily in the realm of animal rights and abuses. I think you can visualize much unpleasantness there. Before I knew it, I was frozen.
Procrastination hit an all time high. Everything seemed pointless. Simple decisions were impossible. Black pants or gray today? Better go back to bed and reflect upon such an important decision. During times like these I believe most of us start unhelpful internal dialogue. “What’s wrong with me?” Followed by a list of “shoulds”. I should write my representatives, lobby in Washington D.C., volunteer more, protest more, start a business, exercise, eat more kale and thus save the world! Eventually I realized all that self-criticism was only adding to the frozen state.
So how does one go about the thaw? “I should” statements are hard to stop but a little modification can warm the spirit. I should take some quiet time to rest and reflect. I should spend more time in nature where things make sense to me. I should nourish my body with good food. I should take a leisurely walk and save the intense workouts for when I’m feeling better. I should let my comrades in noble causes take the torch for a while. I can support them with thanks and when they get weary, I’ll be ready to take up the torch again.
My time spent in nature reminded me that nothing produces 100% of the time. Sap stops flowing, fruit falls to the ground, flowers and leaves wither and nourishment returns to the root. Dormancy allows for rejuvenation and eventually flowers and fruit return. My personal spring thaw just took a bit longer than usual this year.
Saving the world isn’t a lone wolf’s job, it takes a pack and it isn’t a one time struggle but a long haul. Sometimes we just need to retreat, rest and revive without any self-criticism. We all do our part everyday by just participating with kindness and care. Small actions are enough to make an impact everyday. Be sure to save some of that kindness and care for yourself. When you find yourself frozen, take the time you need to be still and find the tiny flame that is still burning. Nurture and protect it and soon the thaw will begin.
2 thoughts on “Thawing the Freeze”
Thank you for writing this. I have also struggled with what I should be writing about…but now I just write when it seems right. Jx
Yes. I’ve been struggling a lot with similar things. The weight and the bogged down feelings are real. I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of the mundane. These small things I am able to do can seem kind of pointless with so much hanging over our heads, but I think maybe there’s some magic in the mundane. And it’s the mundane that connects us all… it’s something I’m mulling over. Thinking about making art around the mundane and encouraging that way rather then trying to find the heroic statement that seems so impossible now….